Is it time to consciously uncouple… or simply talk it out? Read on for six tips about engaging in relationship counselling in Singapore from The Other Clinic’s Psychotherapist and Marriage & Family Therapist KIM FISEL.
Let’s be honest: being in a committed relationship can be challenging. Sharing a life with another person takes work! Yet with the right therapist, you can gain the skills to secure and deepen your connection. Remember, when deciding on couples therapy, having answers to the whens and hows will help you feel more comfortable with the process.
What to know about engaging in relationship counselling in Singapore
#1 Choose a modality that works for both of you
It’s important to recognise the many forms of couples’ work, from Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to Solution Focused Therapy, Gottman Couples Therapy and others. Pick a modality that enhances the strengths of a couple and has proven effects based on historical evidence. Specifically, the Gottman approach has gained recognition for focusing on building stronger connections through changing communication styles and addressing “unresolved emotional conflicts”. It is practical and has tools that couples can use outside the therapy office in everyday life.
#2 Anyone can benefit from relationship counselling in Singapore
We often think couples therapy is for those on the brink of separation or divorce. This is simply untrue. Anyone can benefit from relationship counselling in Singapore, whether you’re in a new or old relationship or a same-sex partnership, have children, are monogamous or in an open relationship, have sexual challenges or communication breakdowns – the list goes on. Keeping connection and commitment alive is an active process that can be enhanced by learning skills that strengthen our understanding of our partners and ourselves.
#3 While most couples are ideal candidates, there are exceptions
The first is when physical aggression or abuse is present. It’s important to establish safety for the individuals before exploring challenges within the couple, and individual therapy may be more suitable. Another is an undisclosed or ongoing infidelity. Being able to establish honesty and trust is paramount in couples work and therefore a betrayal needs to be processed within the therapy setting.
#4 Don’t wait until it’s too late
Couples often only engage in therapy as a last resort when difficulties in the relationship feel overwhelming. Many times, too much criticism, anger and resentment have built over the years. It’s never too early to engage in strengthening your relationship. Building skills early on to address challenges can help avoid the pitfalls of unresolved emotional conflict and resentment. Work to fortify your relationship while it’s strong, so you’re not having to unlearn habits that sabotage your relationship.
#5 Research… then research some more!
Because engaging in relationship counselling in Singapore can be a time and financial commitment, it’s important to do your homework. Some therapists claim to have a background in couples work but don’t actually have any formal training or experience. Ask questions and read up on who you think may be a good fit. If the process doesn’t feel right, you may struggle to make progress.
While Singapore has many great couples and family therapists, The Other Clinic has a dedicated Couples team that collaborates and shares knowledge to ensure couples are provided the best possible means to successfully strengthen engagement. The therapists work with one another, ensuring a great understanding of clients’ needs and that they are a good fit for the therapist.
#6 A calming environment is key
Because engaging in relationship counselling in Singapore can be overwhelming, pick a venue that fosters relaxation. The space at The Other Clinic provides a sense of seclusion and calm that allows couples to explore their challenges within a pleasant and supportive environment.
The Other Clinic, founded by Dr Ronina Stevens, is located at 35 Lorong 23 Geylang. Therapist Kim Fisel heads up the clinic’s Couples and Family service.
6957 9100 | hello@theotherclinic.sg | theotherclinic.sg
This article first appeared in the March 2024 edition of Expat Living. You can purchase the latest issue or subscribe so you never miss a copy!
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