Trying to be the best mother, partner and version of yourself can feel like mission impossible. It also can take a toll on your relationships, family and experience of motherhood in Singapore. So what should you do? We asked professional coaches in Singapore – five women who have all completed The Newfield Coach Certification Program by The Coach Partnership – about how their executive coaching careers have changed their lives at home.
Tini Fadzillah
Co-founder of The Coach Partnership, Tini works in corporate training, coach certification and executive coaching in Singapore. She also hosts a podcast, TINITALK, blending her 27 years of coaching with insights from industry leaders. Tini and her husband have a 15-year-old daughter, Maia, who runs her own jewellery business and also has Down syndrome.
Listening to what’s unspoken
“There are so many things that I have learned through coaching and applied at home. I will start by saying that I am by no means the finished product – not even close.
Communication and listening are key things that I make a point to practise at home. I constantly work on engaging with not just what’s being said but also the unspoken. These are things like the mood, nuances and messages behind our words and my gut or intuition. To be an acute listener, you need to listen to what’s happening on the outside and inside of you and the other person.
Often it also helps to take that ‘big elephant’ of a task or idea and break it down into bite-sized chunks. This works for my daughter and it works for most (dare I say all) of the executives that I work with too.”
Clemence Blondel
Clemence has lived in Shanghai and Singapore for 18 years with her French husband, 15-year-old son and two daughters, 12 and 10. So she is no stranger to adjusting to motherhood in Singapore or across the globe. Aside from raising her teen and tweens, she is an executive coach in Singapore and Senior Corporate Training Director at The Works Partnership (sister company of The Coach Partnership.)
Executive coaching and teens
“Being a coach helps me to be more aware of my automatic reactions. These could be to get frustrated, angry or start yelling. Instead, executive coaching helped me recognise when I need to pause and listen, and consciously make a choice. I ask myself, ‘Do I want to fight over this? What’s the bigger picture and what I want to achieve? How is the other person feeling? And how am I feeling?’
This is particularly helpful with my teenager who may have strong emotions one after another in a split moment. And don’t get me wrong, I still get frustrated and angry from time to time, like any other parent would.”
Sheila Karpe
Originally from the US, Sheila spent over a decade in the healthcare industry across the States and APAC. Now in Singapore with her husband and their 19-month-old son, Sheila’s coaching career has led her to become a Health and Wellbeing Strategist and Executive Coach at The Works Partnership.
Coaching and motherhood in Singapore
“This job feels like a dream come true because it gives me flexibility to spend time with my son while also supporting my clients. My coaching career has also helped me embrace motherhood with ease, compassion and kindness toward both my son and myself. When he’s feeling big emotions (and toddlers have a lot of them!), I’m able to hold space for him to express himself fully.
Kai is also my greatest mirror and teacher. When I get frustrated or impatient with him, I know it’s because he’s triggering something within me that needs to be unpacked. If you want to start speaking to your families differently, start noticing how you’re speaking to yourself. Practice kindness and empathy with yourself first and the rest will fall into place!
I give myself (and my husband!) a lot of grace when things don’t go as expected because I’m able to approach each situation from a place of love and compassion instead of fear or expectation.”
Amanda Duarte
Amanda is well and truly an expat, with over 17 years abroad living in five countries (and counting) with her husband, plus two kids aged 14 and 11. After leaving Brazil, Amanda forged a coaching career as an executive and wellbeing coach, supporting people making big life transitions.
Transformation begins from within
“My training as a coach has helped me to know myself better, understand my feelings and recognise that how I behave in the world has an impact on other people. This has helped me move from the mindset ‘life is happening to me’ to ‘I’m the author of my life’ which is incredibly empowering and has transformed my relationship with my family.
I’m now able to be present, listen to my husband and kids and be curious about how they are feeling – which is especially important during the teenage years. I’m able to question my inherited motherhood beliefs and behaviours so I can create new ones that actually fit my family and the times we live in.
Coaching in Singapore has taught me that the quality of my presence; my ability to deeply listen to what’s been said and not said and my non-judgemental curiosity are key. I now have a more open, compassionate and understanding relationship with my family.
You are worth it. Working on yourself yields beautiful results for you and everyone around you.”
Dr Katrina Gisbert-Tay
Kat is a Spanish Filipino “third culture kid” with a fascination about how our beliefs shape our realities. She is a medical doctor and an Executive Coach and Director of Health and Wellbeing at The Works Partnership. With her husband, she has raised a 20-year-old daughter, boys aged 15 and 13, and two furry companions.
Giving others space to grow
“My interest in starting a coaching career was sparked by my desire to become a better parent to my children. Recognising that the way I speak and model behaviour for them would greatly influence their worldview, I embarked on a personal journey of growth and development through coach training. What I discovered was that much of the learning was focused on developing my own self-awareness and reflective abilities.
As a coach, I learned to hold space for others to connect with their own wisdom, rather than simply providing advice or answers. This skill has helped me become more patient with my teenagers. I can also be fully present in my roles as a parent and partner.
With burnout as my frequent companion, I’ve also learned to prioritise my own wellbeing, recognising that my own self-care has a positive impact on the quality of my relationships and the work that I do.”
Special offer to learn coaching in Singapore
The Coach Partnership is one of the world’s leading transformational learning organisations, known for its globally recognised nine month, ICF Level 2, Newfield Coach Certification program. The Newfield approach is more than a coach training program, it provides an opportunity to see yourself, others and the world through new perspectives and change your life.
Want to step into motherhood in Singapore with confidence and improve your life, parenting and relationships too? Find out more about starting a coaching career with The Newfield Coach Certification Program by The Coach Partnership at thecoachpartnership.com or by emailing info@thecoachpartnership.com. EL readers can enjoy a 5% discount on the upcoming August programme for aspiring executive coaches in Singapore.
