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Top five grooming mistakes men make

Nice hairdo mate 

If you’re sporting an enormous, Sex Pistols-inspired pink Mohican, then we forgive you – fire aware and daub on as much rock-hard gel as you can get your grubby hands on. Meanwhile, those of us living in the real world have to be a tad more circumspect in this department. For short and medium length haircuts, rub a small amount of wax, clay or whatever you prefer into the palms of your hands (not fingers) and lightly mix through your hair as evenly as possible. Only then should you use your fingers to style. Use too much product and your hair looks sticky, and can begin to emit a dandruff-like substance. Nice.

The next time you hear strange yelping noises coming from a hotel room and you suspect that guests are in the throngs of passion, think again – it may well be some poor bloke whose forgotten his toiletry bag and he’s trying to shave with a cheap disposable razor that’s been sent up from reception. Do yourself a favour fellas, and invest in a good quality razor. And change your blades regularly. Yes, we know they’re a tad expensive, but it’s better to look smooth and feel comfortable than having to wander into a meeting with a face that feels like someone’s been massaging molten lava into it. Blotchy skin, dried blood patches and rashes aren’t attractive either.

Back in the 70s, moisturizing was seen as very much a feminine pursuit. Men who moisturized were regarded with suspicion or even complete contempt. This was an era when men were men and they proudly displayed the scars of their hard lives rather than attempt to stave off the ageing process by making their skin appear ten times younger. Moisturizer fights fine lines and wrinkles; it’s as important to a man as that four-pack of beer in the fridge. Moisturize every day – usually straight after a shower when your skin dries incredibly quickly.

When you reach a certain vintage (30s), hair begins to protrude from just about every orifice. Ignore it at your peril – image is everything, so a female MD at a company you’re hoping to work for may just think twice about hiring someone who rocks up to an interview looking like Teenwolf. Use a small, grooming scissor or a nasal trimmer to eradicate unwanted hair. Or, if you’re feeling really brave, head to a beautician’s for a light wax and enjoy the eye candy.

Designer stubble, or a sneak preview of your manly chest hair is one thing, but fellas – if your back is so hairy that it looks like you’re wearing a tanktop, then for crying out loud get yourself waxed. If women can handle the pain and indignity of having their nether regions fettled, then surely you can bite down on the pillow and put up with a minute or two of discomfort? It will surely be worthwhile. As for overgrown chest wigs, invest in a trimmer – especially if you wear an open collar. The 70s pornstar look is not one that women seem to dig.