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Top 10 jokes: Best quotes about getting old

‘Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.’
Truman Capote

‘There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.’
John Mortimer

‘You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.’
Woody Allen

Woody Allen 

‘It is better to wear out than to rust out.’
Bishop Richard Cumberland

‘First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.’
Leo Rosenberg

‘No man is ever old enough to know better.’
Holbrook Jackson

‘An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.’
Agatha Christie

‘Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.’
Jim Fiebig

‘A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’’
Anonymous

‘I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers on his bus.’
Bob Monkhouse

 

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