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For Guys

Top 10 gags we’ve heard this month

“I used to live next to a farm and every time I passed the cows in the field I used to inexplicably shout abuse at them. Turns out I’m dairy intolerant.” Alfie Moore

“My wife told me: ‘Sex  is better on holiday.’  That wasn’t a very nice postcard to receive.”  Joe Bor

“When my wife and I argue, we’re like a band in concert: we start with some new stuff and then we roll out our greatest hits.” Frank Skinner


“I’m learning the hokey cokey. Not all of it. But  I’ve got the ins and outs.” Iain Stirling

“This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’” Tim Vine

“Pop up your hand if you like participating in market research.” Ben Target

My wife said: ‘Did you know butterflies only live for one day?’ I said: ‘That’s a myth.’ She said: ‘No, it’s definitely a butterfly.’” Tom Binns

“I watch so much Netflix that, rather than suggesting more shows for me to watch, it’s started suggesting I go outside.” David Morgan

“The only legitimate reason for smoking an electronic cigarette is if you are a robot that has just had sex with another robot.” Lloyd Langford

“My brother and friends spend all of their time floating out at sea. Well,  boys will be buoys.” Bec Hill