‘Love is two minutes and 52 seconds of squishing noises.’ – John Lydon
‘You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.’ – Hussein Nishah
‘There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.’ – Chris Rock
‘My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.’ – Rodney Dangerfield
‘God gave us a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one of them at a time.’ – Robin Williams
‘Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.’ – Billy Crystal
‘Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman’s sex drive by 99%. Wedding cake.’ – Jim Davidson
‘There’s still plenty of lead in this pencil, but I only write to one person now.’ – Rod Stewart
‘Women might be able to fake orgasms but men fake whole relationships.’ – Sharon Stone
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful and wholesome things that money can buy.’ – Steve Martin
