By: Jake Riggir
You’re about to head to your first date. Perhaps you’ve finally asked the hot girl in the office out. Or maybe it’s the one from Clarke Quay whose face you can’t really remember. Or a mate has set you up on a blind date (a pal of his girlfriend’s, no doubt). It’s now time to step up and do something about those nerves. Check out the tips below for to help you keep it cool and score a second date. (Don’t have a date to test out our tips? Try these hang-outs for singles around Singapore).
Step One: Grooming
Maybe put in more effort than the standard shit, shave, shampoo routine. Chuck on a bit of cologne, spend some extra time on your hair and wear something smart/casual. Think decent casual shirt, chinos and trainers (that aren’t falling apart).
Step Two: Punctuality
She won’t be on time, that’s pretty much a guarantee. But if she arrives and you’re not there, she is not going to be happy. Get there five minutes early, text her to discover what drink she wants and have it waiting when she sashays in. She’ll be seriously impressed. And try your best to be laid back about the fact she’s late (you’ll have to get used to it at some point, anyway).
Step Three: Flattery
When you see her, tell her how good she looks. Even if she doesn’t necessarily look that good. She’s probably spent ten-times the amount of time than you did getting ready and deserves a pat on the back if nothing else. And if she doesn’t return the compliment? Well, she probably won’t, so you’ll have to supply your own confidence mate.
Step Four: Listen
Women ask a lot of questions, but they also love to talk about themselves. If you’re not a big sharer, prepare a bunch of questions and listen to what she’s saying. Look interested – and put your bloody phone away! Pay particular attention when asking her about her work and her family – it’ll mean a lot to her. If she has a tendency to drone on, plan a tactical bar dash and consider yourself lucky that you aren’t sitting in awkward silence.
Questions to have ready:
– ‘So what do you do?’
– ‘Where did you grow up?’
– ‘Have you ever been to…?’
– ‘Did you hear about that <insert interesting news subject>’
– ‘Do you love me?’
– ‘Why not?’
– ‘Wait, you’re not leaving are you?’
– ‘I’m not that strange am I?’
– ‘Come back?’
Step Five: Laugh
If she tells a joke, then laugh. But don’t be over the top about it if she’s not particularly funny, as she may think she’s some sort of comedian and continue with crap jokes throughout the date. You do not want this.
Step Six: Contribute
There’s a fine line between making sure you say enough about yourself and not going on too much. Tell jokes, tell stories, share some personal information – but pick your moments well. Don’t interrupt, don’t talk for too long, and make plenty of eye-contact. After all, she did say yes to a date. You must be doing something right. Women love confidence. It’s scientifically proven. Probably.
Step Seven: Pay
Even if she insists, don’t let her. No one wants to pay for things in life and you can prove to her that chivalry is not dead, simply by getting out that wallet of yours.
Step Eight: Honesty
If you enjoyed yourself, tell her. She’s not a freaking mind-reader, is she? Forget about all the ‘games’ rubbish, if you want a second date, just come out and ask. What do you have to lose? Her reaction will help you determine whether she’s keen or whether round two is off the cards right away, saving you the cost of 3202 post-date texts.
Step Nine: Goodbyes
Don’t just stand there awkwardly. It’s awkward. Walk her to the MRT/bus/taxi rank like a gent – then tell her you had an awesome time, chuck in a joke, give her a hug, plant a confident kiss on her cheek and head off. Don’t dither.
Step Ten: Follow-up
Send her a text the next day (don’t be a dick and keep her hanging) and tell her whether you do or do not want to see her again. And then repeat the above – whether it’s someone else or the same girl (in which case you may want to switch up step nine!).