Men have it easier than women in the dating world. If this statement comes as a massive surprise, it could it be that you’re single and looking.
1. Failing to move on from a previous relationship
If you aren’t having much luck dating women, it might be time to ask yourself some hard questions:
* Are you harbouring any regret that a previous relationship didn’t work out?
* Are you stuck in the past, hoping your ex will return?
* Do you imagine you’ll never meet anyone as “perfect” as the ex?
The sooner you realise that it’s almost 99.9 percent certain that your ex isn’t coming back, the better your chance of overcoming this particular dating dilemma.
The emotional energy that you’re spending – thinking about her, and your glorious past together – is also affecting the way you’re interacting with others now.
To get over your ex, you have to man up and know there will always be short-term pain at the end of a relationship. But the long-term pain of not getting over your past is more severe. Pain is certain, but you do have a choice about how long you allow it to live with you.
2. Failing to make the right first impression
You have one chance to make a good first impression. Whether you’re dating online or in person, the way you project yourself for the first time sets the scene for the rest of your interaction.
When men give up their manliness and act in a tentative way, just to get a woman’s approval and attention, they quickly find themselves on a slippery slope. A woman is more than likely to assume in these situations that the man is a pushover – someone too weak to start a relationship with. No woman wants a weak man, that’s for sure.
3. Being too keen
The fastest way to put a woman off is to appear too keen to be in touch. For a woman this smacks of desperation; and once she gets that kind of impression, she’ll run a mile – with nothing you can do to change her mind.
If you’ve set the scene right, you just have to wait it out; allowing the woman to respond and reciprocate is critical because it is allowing her to feel in control and making her feel safe.
4. Not treating her with total respect and courtesy
Nothing spoils a date faster than when a woman is being treated with no respect and courtesy.
Women are constantly affronted with poor behaviour on the part of men. Some turn up late for a first date, or they answer their mobile phones (implying someone else is more important than them), or they try to be overly familiar; all of these things are recipes for disaster.
When you’re in the dating game, keep your manners in check, because the old-fashioned respect that all men used to treat women with always works like a charm.
5. Not giving her any good reasons to get back in touch with you
It’s a competitive world out there and if you think you’re attracted to a woman, then chances are, other people will be too. So how do you make yourself stand apart from the crowd?
A woman will sit up and take notice when you’ve shown interest in her and have something to offer. Whether it’s your strength and leadership as a man, or it’s your common love of an interest of hers, you have to give her a reason to reciprocate.
Setting a goal and hoping that she’ll be interested in you is not enough. Yet, in thoughtfully engaging with women you’re interested in, you’ll soon find that you have many of them coming back to you.
The key is to cast your net wide and have fun with the dating process! As I mentioned, men have it easier than women so there’s no excuse not to go about things the right way.
Anisa Hassan is an award-winning relationship expert and the owner of It’s Just Lunch Asia. Find out more at anisahassan.com.