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Living in Singapore: Social, cultural and corporate etiquette

Your questions on manners in Singapore answered by etiquette expert, Kristen Graff

Minding your Ps and Qs…even when others don’t. Kristen Graff founder of Manners in Mind answers your questions.

Questions on proper behaviour when using Facebook:

Some people want to share every waking moment on Facebook, while others are more private. This leads to come confusion about the etiquette surrounding photo-tagging. If I post a picture of friends, am I free to tag everyone – and let them untag themselves if they so desire – or should I let everyone individually tag himself or herself?

First things first, never post photos of friends in inappropriate or compromising positions. The same goes for unflattering or “funny” photos. While you may be savvy in distinguishing between social and professional contacts, your friends may be less so and you would hate for them to be put in an awkward situation arising from a photo you posted. When you post a photo, you can tag your friends so that they see the photo. They can then go through and un-tag any photo they would prefer not to be seen. Do not re-tag a photo that a friend has untagged.

Every month or so, I have discovered through Facebook, my friends get together socially without inviting me. This hurts my feelings. How can I continue to use the site to keep up with family and friends without being crushed in the meantime?

Exclusion hurts – whether it is from a grade school party as a kid to a wine dinner later in life. There is a natural balance of time and attention that we spend with each of our friends. You probably don’t invite all your friends to every social event in your life. Likewise, you should not expect to be invited to everything. Try not to take it personally as there may be lots of reasons you were not invited to the latest social gathering. Congratulate your friends on their milestone events and remember to invite them to your next party. If you are not on the guest list for the next group outing, it might be time to expand your social circle to include different friends who are keener to spend time with you.