I tried to learn French at school. Well, when I say ‘try’, what I meant was that I attended class. I was more interested in a leggy blonde called Georgina than I was in learning about past participles and the present tense. Predictably, I failed my GCSE Francais exam.
Devastated that her eldest son wasn’t going to grow up to be a patisserie owner in La Rochelle, my mother even forced me (as she’d forced me to go to cubs as a kid – the pain is still raw) to attend night-school for a year to try and secure that elusive C grade. Alas, after 12 months of misery, my exam results yielded another D.
According to research recently compiled in the United States, French is actually one of the easiest languages for English speakers to learn. Which doesn’t make me feel particularly good about myself, if truth be told.
As I’m now living in Asia, I was contemplating learning Mandarin. But, looking at these results, I’d be better off attempting space travel in a tuk-tuk.