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For Guys

Best movies out in April 2013

Ryan Gosling in A Place Beyond The Pines 

So you’ve followed our instructions and used this snazzy movie infographic to decide which film to watch, but it turns out that you’ve seen all of the suggestions. Bummer, what are the chances? Don’t stress, instead of telling you to get out more like a decent mate probably should, we’re going to point you in the direction of upcoming flicks that you can’t have possibly seen yet. You know, unless you’ve been to America, England or basically anywhere other than North Korea (don’t go there) in the last three months.

These eight will be hitting the big screens in the next few weeks; 

Oblivion
We thought Tom Cruise had been snapped walking a ridiculous number of red carpets lately – it turns out that he’s not just flogging Jack Reacher, an action movie where he saves the world and gets off with a fit actress, but Oblivion, an action movie where he saves the world and gets off with a fit actress. Except in the latter, the baddies are aliens. Esquire tells us: “Expect to See Tom Cruise being not who he thinks he is, Tom Cruise running, Tom Cruise in love and Tom Cruise killing Tusken Raiders the size of NFL linebackers.” If you liked Minority Report, Mission Impossible and War of The Worlds, you’ll like this because it’s basically a montage of them all. 

Broken City
A city rife with corruption? Check. Two Hollywood powerhouses? Check. A bit of rape and murder? Check. Justice for said rape and murder? Full Deck. What’s not to like? Broken City sees Russell Crowe playing the mayor of New York, who hires disgraced cop turned private detective Mark Wahlberg to discover who Crowe’s wife (Catherine Zeta Jones) is having an affair with. Obviously she’s getting in on with one of Crowe’s political rivals and all hell breaks loose. Cue revenge, framing, double crossing and various killing sprees. The Observer notes: “The smooth thriller is moderately enjoyable, well acted and both complicated and simplistic.”

The Place Beyond The Pines
If you’ve been given the rare chance to pick what you’re watching on date night you’re onto a winner with The Place Beyond The Pines. There’s something for everyone in this film – a powerful, thought provoking narrative with epic stunts for the men and Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper for “her indoors”. Gosling, a motorcycle stunt rider, turns to robbing banks as a way to provide for his lover and their newborn child. Indiewire says: “The movie succeeds both as a high-stakes crime thriller as well as a far quieter and empathetic study of angry, solitary men.” Two words: watch it. Actually, three: watch it now. 

Oh and here’s a little teaser, the June/July issue of EX has an exclusive interview with Mr Drive himself, and Gosling ain’t his mincing words.  

 Scary Movie 5
No movie that contains both Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen should be taken seriously, but we can’t help be a little intrigued when it’s part of the Scary Movie series. Scary Movie 5 is the latest comedy instalment that aims to rip apart the most recent round of thrillers and horrors to hit our screens. Couple Ashley Tisdale and Simon Rex discover that their newborn baby is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Screen Rant explains: “Scary Movie casts a wide comedic net over an assortment of popular films, parodying everything from Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan, to Tyler Perry’s Madea movies and even Inception”. Unless you really can’t wait to see Lohan and Sheen getting it on in the bedroom (in a kind of anti-Darwinism) it’s probably worth giving it a wide berth.

Iron Man 3
Iron Man 3 sees Robert Downey Junior face his most powerful enemy yet, the Mandarin (at least 7.5 times more powerful than the variety of orange). And as Stark fights to put his world back together he is finally able to answer the age-old question: “Does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?” And while we already know that this is a Marvel film and thus the answer will always be the man, the cool part about this flick is that female lead Gwyneth also gets a go in the superhero suit. The Guardian tells us: “Iron Man up until now has rarely been challenged by an enemy who did not have an obvious weakness, or who simply wasn’t up to the task of defeating him in the first place. Make no mistake: the Mandarin is more than capable of orchestrating chaos on a level that may be too much for one Iron Man to handle.”

Identity Thief
If you’re in need of a good laugh (a thigh slapping “har har har”, not a dirty, little “tee hee hee” chuckle) Identity Thief is worth a watch. Featuring Hollywood’s best female comedian, Melissa McCarthy, alongside Jason Bates, this movie sees nice, normal businessman chap Sandy Patterson travelling across the US to track down the not so normal, not so nice con lady Sandy Patterson. She’s only been stealing his identity, hasn’t she? Rotten Tomatoes blasts: “Identity Thief features the kind of ‘humour’, which says you don’t just hit a person once, you should do it repeatedly to make it funnier.” Is it bad that we still want to see it? 

I Give It A Year
I Give It A Year is a new British comedy, but don’t let that put you off. A look at the difficulties facing a normal newlywed couple during their first year of marriage, this film has two good things going for it: Rose Byrne and Stephen Merchant (no, they’re not the couple – although that would be pretty funny). Stuff magazine states: “The film is pretty much standard fare as far as British romantic comedies go; quirky, entertaining, but I Give it a Year had few surprises with the plot. It is not as good as Death at a Funeral, but better than Mr. Bean the movie.” 

Conspirators
If you’re in the mood for a local flick, look no further than Conspirators. Featuring Thai private detective Aaron Kwok, who travels to Malaysia as he follows clues from one photo, this action thriller ducks and dives through a lively narrative, various corrupt characters and plenty of fighting as he desperately seeks more information. And we know it sort of ruins it when someone tells you that there’s a great twist at the end… but there really is (sorry).

If none of the above get you reaching for the popcorn let Singapore’s cinematic gem The Screening Rooms sort you out with a cult classic. The next two months are pretty much good, solid, bloke viewing with No Country For Old Men, Blood Simple, A Serious Man and a hell of a lot of Guy Ritchie movies (Snatch, Revolver, Sherlock Holmes and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels to name a few). And while you probably don’t need any further convincing, you’ll be pleased to discover that the Screening Rooms fuses film with food and offers an amazing selection of dishes to shovel towards your face while you stare unblinkingly ahead. Find out what’s on and when here.

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