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For Guys Living in Singapore

5 ways to build a strong support system during a divorce

By: Esther Yong

Going through a divorce is painful, exhausting and never easy. Add the fact that your family and homeland are miles away and what you get is a tumultuous uphill battle. But fret not, here are 5 ways to equip yourself with emotional, physical and legal support while going through a divorce in Singapore.

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No matter where you are chat apps and video platforms keep you connected to your support group


1. Embrace globalisation and interconnectivity
In today’s globalised and technologically advanced world, communication is easier than ever. Although your family may be somewhere far across the globe, chat apps and video calling platforms like Skype connect them to you in just one click. Telegram, an instant messaging app that works on Windows, Mac, iOS, Android and on the web, stores conversations and shared media using a cloud system. This allows you to use the app on numerous devices without worrying about losing parts of your conversation! Good old WhatsApp now has a calling feature that runs on data or wifi — this drastically cuts the cost of international phone calls.

For those who prefer physical interaction, take advantage of the ease of international travel to receive your family’s love through hugs and kisses. Globalisation has made traveling so much more affordable that family visits and international childcare arrangements are now possible and even feasible. You can even go off on an “Eat Pray Love” journey of your own!

divorce singapore
Catching up with old friends helps you get through the drama of divorce


2. Enjoy the comfort of old friends and the novelty of new friends
When life rocks your boat, you need friends who can support you and give the appropriate advice to suit your personality and your situation. Old friends are also the constants you need amidst all the change that a divorce brings. They understand you and comfort you; most importantly, they help you realize that not all is lost.

But don’t lose heart when your friends are busy with their own lives — after all, they may have their own families and problems too. Instead, be appreciative of their loyalty and that they do their best for you. Then, find yourself some new friends to occupy the remainder of your time! These new friends may be colleagues that you don’t usually hang out with, or even people you meet through your old friends. Meeting new people injects some positive change into your life and helps you get used to the idea of singlehood. Who knows, you may even chance upon a new life partner!

divorce singapore
There are plenty of counselling and external support groups available


3. Explore a range of external help sources
Talking about new friends, you may also consider joining divorce support groups, religious support groups or even try counselling. Apart from just meeting new people, these external help sources create an environment of emotional solace that your family and friends may not be able to provide. You also avoid overburdening your family and friends with your emotional needs and can gather objective opinion from people who don’t know your spouse.

divorce singapore
New hobbies are great way to start a new life


4. Exercise and pick up new hobbies
It is vital that you maintain your sanity whilst undergoing tedious and emotionally-draining divorce procedures. Exercising is a good distraction from all the negative energy, and everyone knows the immense health benefits of regular exercise. No matter what sport you choose, the exercise would help you to relief stress, let off steam and sleep better.

You may also want to pick up a new hobby like painting, cooking, photography or learning a new language to pass time and to meet new people. Alternatively, you can gain companionship and develop a new routine in your life by adopting a pet. These hobbies help to reduce homesickness, take your mind off sad memories and create happy ones!

divorce sinapore
Make sure you have a divorce lawyer to reach a fair settlement


5. Engage a good divorce lawyer
There is a need for effective and compassionate legal representation when you and your spouse are undergoing the crisis called divorce. While engaged in a separate emotional battle with your spouse, you may not be ready to settle the legal aspects of your divorce and to protect your own interests. Your divorce lawyer will help you to navigate through the legal procedures, advise you on major decisions and protect your legal rights so that parties can reach a fair settlement. Thus, it is important that you choose the best divorce lawyer in Singapore that can alleviate the difficulties of going through a divorce.

Ultimately, it is impossible to completely remove the agony of going through a divorce. However, following the 5 pointers above will help you tide through this major life change. Now when life throws you lemons, you have the ingredients not only for lemon juice but also for lemon meringue and a swanky lemon cake!
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